OH.
I got up today with a slight sourness in my heart.
[cause I cried. Yesterday]
No one knows about this.
But now if I say it out here, everyone will know.
=.=
Somehow, everytime it's my birthday, [or some damn special occasion that my family has, one that needs everyone working together], I'd cry.
I don't know why I'd cry.
yes, so I actually hate my B-day.
Not cause I'm...
GETTING OLD!!!
BOO HOO T^T
*cries*
but because... I don't know. some strange reason.
I just cry. And I *hate* crying too.
I mean, who likes it?
So, when today came, I was like. doing mu own thing, internet surfing, looking for ideas, improving my Photoshop skills. and all that... until Mum dragged me down. Seriously.
Okay, I refused to go down [Dad's there, duh!] to have breakfast. WHY? I don't know. Why must I eat, I'm not hungry!
And yet. *sigh*
So I went and found my whole family around tbe breakfast table, and this was in front of everybody.
Burger bun, with bacon baked with egg, decorated with tomato and lettuce
YUMMY!!
The creation and the chef.
THANK YOU DADDY!!
Mum's prezzie for me.
Wonder what's inside?
TA-DA!!!
A green bag!
Quote Mum; "Now more lady-like" ;x
Ya meh?
[Ignore my "pouty-ish" face ._.]
After that, I went to my usual Saturday Bible Class.
We were in time x.x
We had Bible Jeopardy, then the Praise and Worship session.
As usual.
but something struck me while we were singing 'Grace is Enough' by Don Moen
Here's the lyrics:
I can boast to many works
Done out of insecurity
And credit many conversations
To my immaturity
And while I’m misunderstood
You are understanding me
And showing me
How grace is enough
For everything that I’ve done right
Seems a thousand I’ve done wrong
And I keep on losing count
Of all the times my flesh has won
And when the light of Christ that’s in me
Is overshadowed by the fall
You’re showing me
How grace is enough
When I feel unworthy
And so undeservingStill I can come, just as I am
For I find Your love
Is free of condition
So I will run to Your wide open arms
Where I am accepted
And I am forgiven
Grace is enough for me
Your grace is enough for me
I’ve been quick at passing judgment
When I’m worthy of conviction
And the times I’ve measured virtue
Only based on my religion
But theology it seems
It’s not the things that’s saving me
Your are showing me
A grace that’s enough
When I feel unworthy
And so undeservingStill I can come, just as I am
For I find Your love
Is free of condition
So I will run to Your wide open arms
Where I am accepted
And I am forgiven
Grace is enough for me
Your grace is enough for me
Though I was blind, now I see
Sweet is the sound
Of Your grace over me
You said it all on the Cross
Your grace goes beyond
All that I’ve done
When I feel unworthy
And so undeserving
You love me beyond
All my failing and hurting
It’s not who I am
But who I can be
And I know You are working
Your purpose in me
Still I can come, just as I am
For I find Your love
Is free of condition
So I will run to Your wide open arms
Where I am accepted
And I am forgiven
Grace is enough for me
Your grace is enough for meYour grace is enough
More then enough
Your grace is enough for me
Yup. The words in bold was the ones that touched me.
To the core.
People say that they love someone based on who they are.
And that their loved one need not change.
Which is partly true, but partly not enough.
Cause, from the way I see it, I'm still NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
It's not who I am. But who I can be.
Jesus came down from Heaven, assuming the shape of a man.
He was humbler yet to receive death on a cross.
If he was in my shoes last night, he probably would not have been angry at his Dad.
He wouldn't.
But that's just me. Of course I'd be angry.
Would Jesus still love me? YES.
Because it's not who I am, but who I can be.
I can choose to do the right thing, not be angry.
It's still not too late.
Somewhere in the near future, I have to take deep breaths and smile.
Not being angry.
Okay, that's enough sharing for now.
After class, everyone wished me Happy Birthday, lol.
I was hoping there'd be no cake, and voila!
There was no cake. hahahahaah.
After class, my parents brought us to OUG, and bought a B-Day cake!
=9
We went to a restaurant [we're regulars there, whenever there's a celebration].
No, I don't know it's name.
Quote Shakespeare: A rose by any name still smell as sweet.
So, yeah. Name not so important. Location is important.
So here:
Group shot!
From left: Me, Dad, Mum, Elis [going back to Bali next Saturday], sis, Aunty Corinne and Uncle Max
MY cake!
New York Cheesecake. Deli!!
All candles lighted!!
Me blowing the cake.
Lol.
And what did my uncle and aunt get for me?
THIS;
Elephant Congkak!
Look at the marble!
Original colour, without the flash ;D
So then, that's all the prezzies I got from my family
;D
hm... oh my! I didn't tell you what God gave me today.
He told me a little secret to why I cry on my Birthdays.
Today, I've turned 17.
I don't feel 16 anymore.
Do you know the quote that goes;
What does not kill you, only makes you stronger?
I mean, I sort of suffered a little.
So I cry.
But it makes me stronger.
Wiser.
And it makes me feel as though I AM 17.
Thanks Lord =)
